


Chasing to Be Who You Are

by mapofthestars



Series: Chasing [2]
Category: Best Song Ever - One Direction (Music Video), One Direction (Band), The Vamps (UK Band)
Genre: Angst, Coming Out, F/M, Homophobia, I managed to actually give Liam and Niall a bit of a part in this story, Just because I could, Louis being an amazing person, M/M, Oh yes! Fluff!, Very little Liam/Danielle, Zayn in leather on a motobike, amazingly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-05
Updated: 2014-05-05
Packaged: 2018-01-22 01:48:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1571501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mapofthestars/pseuds/mapofthestars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>"Then I'll be your tough gangster boyfriend babe." said Zayn, pressing a kiss to Louis' lips.</em>
  <br/>
  <em>"I think I'm gay."</em>
</p><p> </p><p>[Or the one where Louis is a teaching assistant, Zayn looks hot in leather, Connor's scared and Liam really needs to figure out who he is related to.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chasing to Be Who You Are

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own One Direction or The Vamps. 
> 
> There will be more of The Vamps appearing in this series, purely because I have an indulgent wish to write protective big brother's Louis and Zayn.
> 
> Also unbeta'd again.

Louis jumped off the bus and practically sprinted up to the reception of the school. He rushed past a teacher in the entrance hall, ignoring her disapproving glances. Yes it was only his second day and he was already late, but he would like to see her try and get up when you have the most beautiful boyfriend in the world calling you back to bed.

He rounded the last corner and burst into one of the drama classrooms. He was panting (he wasn't in the best shape, okay) but he thought it was odd that there was no noise from the room.

He looked up to see that the room was empty apart from the drama teacher, Miss Ford. "You're lucky Louis," she said. "Year 8 are on a school trip today so you have no first lesson."

Louis sighed in relief. This placement was a really important part of his course and he needed to do well here to get a good enough overall mark.

The rest of the day was fairly uneventful. Louis wasn't yet allowed to run any of the lessons himself, so he just had to sit and watch Miss Ford start the lessons. But then once the kids had gotten into groups, or whatever they were supposed to be doing, Louis could go round and talk to them, or help them. And that was the part Louis loved, the reason he wanted to become a drama teacher.

The last lesson of the day was Miss Ford and Louis' first lesson with a new group, so they had decided to do a getting to know you session. The girls and boys in the group were about 13 or 14. They reluctantly dragged chairs into a circle, and then sat there in stony silence.

The group gradually warmed up to Louis and Miss Ford. Their silence turned into monosyllable answers, and then finally actually sentences.

By 3:20, Louis was paying more attention to the clock than to the class.  The school day ended at 3:30, and Zayn was coming to pick Louis up. They shared a car when they were both driving to the Uni, but now Louis was out at the school, he had to get the bus. But if Zayn ever had classes, he would drive Louis and drop him off on his way to the university.

So Louis wasn't paying attention when one of the girls in the class asked him a question. Miss Ford elbowed him, pulling him out of his day dreams.

"I'm sorry ... " Louis searched his memory for her name. Al ... Alice? ... Allie? "Alisha?" The girl nodded shyly. "Could you repeat the question?"

"Do you have a girlfriend Louis?" asked Alisha quietly.

Louis smiled at her. "I don't have a girlfriend Alisha. But I do have a rather perfect boyfriend."

Louis could see the looks of shock on some of the class’s faces. Miss Ford _appeared_ to take the new information in her stride, standing up to explain to the class what they would be doing in their next lesson and telling them they could leave, just as the final bell ran through the corridors.

The minute the students were out the door, Louis heard them break into excited chatter. He assumed they had never had an openly gay teacher before. Louis imagined that before long he would probably be the talk of the school.

Miss Ford rounded on Louis as soon as all the students had left. "You shouldn't be telling the students thing like that." She said. "It could give them ideas."

"I'm sorry but what the fuck?" Louis was shocked. "My sexuality is my own business, and if I choose to share it with everyone, then that is my own choice."

"But a gay teacher is not something the children should be using as a role model."

"Maybe they should be using me as a role model." Louis fought to keep himself from shouting. "Maybe there is some poor gay kid in this school, who feels he or she has to hide who they are because of people like you. Maybe they will see me, out and proud, and realise they don't need to hide. That they are the same as everyone else."

Louis picked up his notebook and stormed out of the classroom. He could already see heads turning to watch him as he walked through the corridors. He entered the teacher's car park still shaking with anger.

Zayn could tell something was wrong the minute Louis approached him. He was tense and angry.

"Louis, what's wrong?" asked Zayn calmly.

Louis took a deep breath, trying to draw in some of his boyfriend’s calmness. "You know Miss Ford, the teacher I told you I was working for yesterday."

Zayn nodded. "The one you said was really nice."

"Turns out she's homophobic." said Louis coldly.

"Shit Lou, that's terrible." Zayn reached over to pull his boyfriend into a hug. Louis let himself be drawn into Zayn's arms, relaxing into Zayn's grip.

* * *

"I don't know what to do Zayn. What if she purposely lowers my grade because of this? I have to pass this course." confessed Louis. Zayn smiled at his boyfriend. At the start of their relationship, Louis would never admit to needing help. He wouldn't let anyone in and would deal with the problem himself, until he either fixed it or broke down.

Zayn rested his hand gently on Louis' shoulder. "Lou. You've got to keep working there. We just wait and see how she acts towards you. If she's just cold and ignores you then, fine, we deal with it. Ask the professor if you can do half your classes with Miss Ford and half with the other drama teacher. That way, if you work hard but get a bad mark at the end, you'll have a case for discrimination on the grounds of sexuality."

Louis nodded. "I forgot how sensible you could be when I panic. Why don't I let you help more often?"

Zayn smiled. "Because you want to be strong and unbreakable. Also you don't want to believe anyone has any better ideas than you." Zayn teased.

* * *

Miss Ford didn't _seem_ to be purposely dropping Louis' grades, and he was still on target. But things were beginning to become uncomfortable in the school.

There were a few muscly Year 13's who looked at Louis like they wanted to punch him, but all the students he taught seemed to have mostly forgotten about his sexuality.

But there was also the cold glares from the other teachers, and the chilling silence when he walked into the staffroom, every eye turned towards him. Louis found himself alone more often than not when he wasn't teaching. This wasn't good for Louis. He thrived on others and being the character in a crowd.

So he was spending his free last lesson alone, sitting in one of the empty drama classrooms. He knew it had been getting worse in the last couple of weeks. Some boys had started cracking their knuckles ominously as he past in the corridors. And he still had another four weeks of this course and he was starting to fear for his own existence. He was twinky, and the boys sizing him up were definitely bigger than him.

By the time Louis arrived at his flat, he had an idea. If Liam was still around, Louis would have asked him to come in one day to pick him up and look menacing. But Liam had gone off to Uni in London with his girlfriend, a professional dancer. Also Liam had difficulty looking anything other than adorable and kind. He did the most brilliant puppy eyes, but was no use at agression, even with his height and muscles.

But, Zayn could look pretty tough when he wanted to.

"Zayn? Would you come pick me up when I finish tomorrow on your motorbike?" asked Louis

"Yeah. Of course. Um, why?" Zayn looked up from the English essay he was writing.

Louis looked down nervously at his own feet. "Someoftheboysatschoolarescaringmeandyoulookreallytoughinleatherwithyourtattoos." Louis rushed the entire sentence out as fast as he could.

Zayn looked perplexed, as though he had only understood every other word, which to be fair, he probably had. "What?"

Louis took a breath and spoke slower. "Some of the older boys at the school are scaring me and you look really tough in leather with your tattoos." Louis spoke quietly, not looking Zayn in the eye.

"They're scaring you?" said Zayn equally quietly. Anyone else would think Zayn was calm, but his voice had a menacing edge to it that Louis recognised as anger.

"It's nothing really," Louis said quickly, trying to put Zayn at ease. "They just look at me weirdly and I thought that maybe they might back off a bit if you turned up and they thought I had a bit tough gangster boyfriend."

"Then I'll be your tough gangster boyfriend babe." said Zayn, pressing a kiss to Louis' lips.

And true to his word, when Louis left school the next day, there was Zayn. He was leaning up against his big motorbike, in a leather jacket, rolled up to reveal a myriad of tattoos and ripped jeans. His hair was swooped up into a quiff, and a cigarette dangled artfully from between his lips. His cheekbones looked so sharp they could cut you if you weren't careful. This was the rough mysterious that had once roamed the streets Zayn, not the sleepy soft English major Zayn that Louis loved so much.

The car park was packed as every student who left the school stopped to stare at Zayn, and whisper about who was this guy, was he single, why was he there and how old was he. Even the younger female teachers were hanging about, staring unabashedly at Zayn.

Louis walked out and saw Zayn smirk when he saw him. Louis raised a cheeky eyebrow; "Shall we do this properly then?"

Zayn stood up dropping his cigarette and crushing it out beneath the heel of his boot. He looked about the assembled crowd and drawled "We going then babe?"

Louis watched as all the crowd fell silent, listening to Zayn's words. Then they burst into chatter, wondering who Zayn was talking to. Finally they fell silent again, waiting expectantly to see who would step forward.

Louis stepped forward from the crowd, noticing every eye turn towards him. Zayn swung a leg over the bike, leaving room for Louis to jump on behind him.

The jaw of every student and teacher hit the ground, as Louis pecked Zayn on the lips and leapt onto the bike behind him. Zayn revved the engine, cutting through the awestruck silence.

Louis smiled happily as the bike left the school grounds, at the thought that every student was now scared of his rough tough boyfriend.

"Was that rough enough for you?" asked Zayn as they entered their flat.

"You know I like it rough." Louis smirked even wider.

"Not something I needed to hear." shouted Harry from the kitchen.

Louis shot Zayn a hungry dirty look. He grabbed him by the belt on his jeans, spinning him around and backing him into the kitchen. He pushed Zayn against the worktop, smashing their lips together and using his other hand to grope Zayn shamelessly.

"If you want to fuck, do it in your own room." Louis heard Harry shout.

A second later, a teaspoon whistled through the air, hitting Louis square in the back of the head.

"Oww Harold." complained Louis, turning to pout at Harry whilst rubbing the back of his head.

"My kitchen, my rules. And I am not having you fuck each other in here."

Louis smirked at Harry nochalantly. "What would you say Haz, if I told you we had already fucked in here." he lied.

Harry made a disgusted noise, covering Zayn's snort of laughter and nearly dropped the pan he was holding. "You two are the worst," he said, waving his wooden spoon between the two of them. "And you," he pointed the spoon accusingly at Zayn, "stop eye fucking him," the spoon moved to point at Louis. "I can practically see you undressing him with your eyes."

Zayn at least had the decency to blush, whilst Louis simply looked proud of himself. Harry decided to leave the flat that night, so Zayn and Louis thought they might as well actually christen the kitchen.

* * *

 Louis had no trouble with anyone really after that incident. He still didn't go to the staffroom unless he had to, but he had made friends with incredibly endearing but highly dorky librarian, Marcel.

They spent most of their free time together in the library. Not many students ventured into the library. Those that did knew Marcel well, and by extension, got to know Louis.

Louis realised that beneath everyone else, there was a surprisingly large group of lovely people who simply preferred to stay under the radar and out of trouble.

* * *

 It was Louis' last day before Christmas, and he sat in the library organising his notebooks. It was going to be strange going back to lectures after this long actually teaching, thought Louis.

He was pulled from his thoughts by a timid voice.

"Louis?"

Louis looked up to see Connor Ball, a very small boy, despite being 16. He was also painfully shy, and Louis had had to find out his name from Marcel.

Connor opened his mouth, trying to talk, but his courage failed. He sat down next to Louis, trying to build his confidence back up.

Louis held a respectful distance, waiting for Connor to decide what he wanted to do. The last thing Louis wanted to do was pressure someone into talking. They sat in companionable silence for at least ten minutes, before Connor quietly spoke.

"I think I'm gay."

"Okay." replied Louis.

Connor let out the breath he had been holding. "It feels nice to finally have said it."

"I know," replied Louis quietly. He could remember the first time he had said those exact same words out loud, with no one to hear him but his own reflection.

"Connor?" The boy turned to look at Louis. "When I walk out these doors in two hours, I'm no longer a teacher. Do you want to come back to my flat and meet some of my friends? You know if you are ever in trouble or you need anything, you can come to me or one of them."

Connor could only nod. Louis remembered how it felt to be in Connor's position, and how it would have felt to have someone older than him looking after him, and telling him everything would be okay.

Connor smiled at Louis as he left, and it was the first time Louis had ever seen him smile. He was still smiling when he met Louis at the bus stop.

"C'mon on then." said Louis smiling. Connor's smile was infectious.

As they sat on the bus, Louis realised there was a whole new side to Connor no one ever saw. Outside of school, away from everyone who would judge him, he was loud, confident and cheeky. Louis loved it.

Connor looked a little nervous by the time they were standing at the entrance to Louis' flat. "There's no reason to be worried," promised Louis, opening the door to the flat.

"Zaynie baby!" Louis shouted, running through the door and jumping on top of his boyfriend.

"Lou," replied Zayn lovingly, wriggling his fingers into Louis' hair and pecking him on the lips. Louis pulled away from Zayn.

"Zayn, this is one of my students, Connor. Connor, this is my boyfriend, Zayn."

Connor seemed scared to look at Zayn, his eyes flickering everywhere but Zayn's face. Then Louis remembered that the only time Connor had seen Zayn, he has seen cigarettes, leather, motorbike.

Zayn seemed to have come to the same realisation, and pulled Connor into a hug. The boy froze in his arms for a second, before relaxing and hugging Zayn back.

Once Harry had arrived home, bringing with him a slightly hyper Nialler who had just finished his shift at Nando's, and Perrie and her girlfriend, Jesy, had come over, their little flat was full of the smell of cooking and the sound of laughter.

Once Connor had opened up to all of Louis' friends, everyone was having a great time. Connor really was a younger version of Louis in nearly all respects. And everyone in the room knew exactly how to treat him, because they just treated him as a younger version of Louis.

But Louis wanted to have a proper talk to Connor, so he dragged him into the kitchen on the pretense of washing up. No one believed them, washing up was the devil's work (according to Louis).

Louis pressed a piece of paper into Connor's hand. "This is my number. If you ever need anything, even just someone to talk to, I'm just a phone call away. Do you have any brothers and sisters?"

Connor nodded. "One half-brother and two half-sisters but they're all away at Uni."

"Okay. If you need to get away, you can come here. If we're not in, you can try the flat next door; that's Perrie and Jesy's. If it's really bad or you can't get here, go to the skateboard park under the flyover in Brookside. Ask for Ant and Danny. Tell them Louis said you could go there if you ever needed help."

"Your number. Your flat. Perrie and Jesy's flat. Skateboard park. Brookside. Ant and Danny." Connor repeated all in one breath. Louis smiled.

He felt a lot happier now he knew Connor had someone with his back. There was a high chance he would never need it, would never fall. But there was a safety net there if he did, and that was all Louis needed to sleep well knowing he had done the right thing.

* * *

Liam came down to Bradford for the holidays with his girlfriend Danielle. They slept at Perrie and Jesy's, because Liam said he couldn't face his mum's new boyfriend, and Danielle's family didn't live near Bradford.

Liam had just left when Louis got a phone call.

"Louis," came Danny's voice warningly.

"What is it Danny?" asked Louis, having recognised the voice.

"A young lad turned up here like ten minutes ago crying and saying that you told him to ever come to us if he needed help."

"Connor!" gasped Louis.

"Didn't say his name." Louis could practically hear the shrug that accompanied that statement.

"Can you just bring him to my flat? Please, Danny."

"Okay," Danny sighed. Louis could hear him beginning to shout order's to the rest of his gang.

Connor and Danny arrived at Louis' flat about 10 minutes later. Connor hung his head as Louis opened the door, and wouldn't look up. Louis gently lifted his chin up, and was shocked at the large purple bruise decorating his left eye.

Louis grabbed Connor into a hug, letting the younger boy cry softly into his shoulder. He sat Connor down on the sofa, still keeping his arm round him.

Zayn had taken on look at Connor's eye before going to find their first aid kit and some ice. Conor's tears were just drying, an ice pack over his eye when the door opened again.

"Hey guys. Did I leave my phone here?" shouted Liam.

Liam walked into the living room, and froze. Louis felt Connor freeze beside him as well, his whole body tense and rigid. Louis' and Zayn's eyes darted back and forth between the pair.

"Connor?" asked Liam quietly.

Connor nodded, before quietly replying "Liam."

Connor voice broke Liam out of his trance, and he rushed forward to pull th small boy into a hug. Louis was confused. So was Zayn. Connor's tears flowed afresh.

Louis was the first to find his voice. "What the fuck is going on?"

"Connor's my half-brother." said Liam.

"That answers that question then." Louis turned to Connor. "What's going on Connor?"

Connor leaned into Liam, who had sat down on the other side of him.

"I told my mum about me being ..." Trying to say the word brought fresh tears to his eyes.

"Gay?" filled in Louis. Connor nodded. If Liam was surprised at learning the boy he viewed as a brother was gay, he didn't show it.

"Mum's boyfriend said I was a ... a ... a faggot." he whispered quietly. Liam's free hand clenched into a fist. "He punched me and told me to leave. Mum just sat there and watched. Why didn't she stop him?"

Anger burst into the room, running through everyone. Liam was angry his mother had done that to her son, his brother. Zayn was angry that this poor kid had to go through what he went through. Louis was so angry that anyone could hurt someone as lovely as Connor.

Connor slept on Louis and Zayn's couch that night. He wasn't going home until Liam had gone to pay a visit to his mum, try and talk some sense into her, and hopefully get rid of the boyfriend.

Liam arrived back the next morning, after visiting his and Connor's mum before she went to work. He found the boyfriend gone; kicked out as soon as Karen had come to her senses. Karen was in a state. Conor had left without his phone, and she had no idea where he was. She had tried to hide that anything was wrong from Liam. He had had to shout at her to make her tell him the truth. As much as he hating shouting and making anyone cry, his mother needed to be sorry. The more she realised what she had done, and more importantly what she hadn't done, the more she would hopefully learn, and stop picking men who were utter douchebags. Liam's father had been, so had Connor's father. They had both walked out within a few months of their sons being born.

There were more tears when Connor returned home, with Liam, Louis, Zayn, Harry and Niall. Karen was truly sorry, all of them could see that.

* * *

 "Louis, we saved him." came Zayn's whispered voice late that night. "He could have ended up as me. If we hadn't saved him he could have been on the streets alone."

"I know," replied Louis quietly. I protected Connor, now I must find Zayn a family, Louis promised to the silent night air.

 

**Author's Note:**

> There is a part 3 and 4 currently in the pipeline. Well, part 3 is finished, I just don't have the balls to post it yet.
> 
> Comments and kudos appreciated. I would also love constructive criticism if you think my writing could be better.


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